Scribblious

Life sometimes gets so messed up that it gets hard for once to recognise oneself in those situations. So it did for me. I know I am using 'did' to refer it as it happened in the past, whereas actually, it bothers me in the present as well. I know it becomes difficult to find inner peace and the person no longer knows what or how he actually was, even though he lives in the past but that's the past that became the very reason for him to become weird at the first place. I don't know how, but somehow out of the blue, in the middle of all that mess and hatred, the "LOST" little guy managed to come up and made me do the right thing. It was a text. I know sometimes things need to be done in person, as in for real rather than being a virtual presence, but I didn't know what would happen if I actually see her. So I texted. "I know I have been weird to you lately, but I should not be this way. I know it has been hard for you too. But it has been uncontain

<LATE PUBLISH. Original date of writing: February 5, 2017> Sitting in front of the only girl I have ever loved, looking back on those days, all in my head and feeling depressed and angry. She didn't even say a word and I imagined that she said "sorry". Here is what comes next from my mouth, almost as instantly as my mind was making things up... I am not mad at you, I am mad at what you did. Umh..actually....I am mad at you. And not just because of you, its because I m mad at myself too. And by that I am not giving you the green card to move out of the scene; you see it all started because of you and what you did is the primary reason for me being like this. I am mad at not just you and me but at anyone who stupidly enough talks to their "SOUL MATES" < as if that actually means something > in a manner which is nothing but a very over-dramatic display of love, which is no more there & has been all worn off b/w them, just to ke