Wavering Mind

There is a reason why we call the thing inside our skull, as Mind. Because as the word suggests, it is under control. That’s the actual difference between a mind and a brain. A brain is not controlled, not streamlined, wild, though full of ideas and imaginations, but also with conflicting issues. It is like an untamed horse. It runs where it wants, when it wants, with who it wants.

And as the world around us suggests, one should always stay in control. That’s why we train our brains to be under control. How? Well it has the very clichéd answer. Through education. With years and years of education and training we TRY to control the one thing that possesses a great power. Some succeed and some don’t.

But what if the same process which is used to tame the wild horse becomes the reason for it to become more wild? What to do then? In the current scenario, according to many wise men, we are in a race. A race to reach our destinations. To achieve our goals. To fulfil our dreams. Educating ourselves and sharpening our skills to just win. But at what cost? Why does everyone has to be a part of this race? Why nobody talks about the other side of the vision?

I don’t want to be part of this race. I don’t want any part of this madness. The race is not meant for everyone. It is certainly not meant for me. Everyone has their own take in their life. As long as one wants to move its great. It should not be necessary to move in a race only. As long as one has their heads screwed straight, their take on life is right! Their vision of life is right. And it needs no verification by some judge or some expert, whether their thinking and working is good or not. The hell they know about someone else’s shoes. They may never have faced the tough days that you did. They can never understand what someone else has been through. They may claim that they have gone through worse. But their worse can be normal for someone else, just as the way they may undermine your worse to be their normal. There simply is no comparison.

I’m sorry I always get carried away by thoughts. I wasn’t going to discuss all of that philosophical stuff that I just did. I’m here just to share what is going on in my head right now. It’s similar to the things that I started with. The brain and the mind. So now I will talk what’s wrong with me. The education, the very training that I was just talking about is screwing up with my mind. Lately I have noticed that due to so much pressure of my upcoming exam(b.t.w. I’m a graduate, so don’t think it’s some normal college/school exam stress that is making me write all this) my concentration power has become less. I want to study but I also want to do something else at the same time. Like writing this blog. And when I choose to study, then I can hardly focus on the content that I study and my mind starts wavering hear and there. If I start with something else, then while doing it, I’m constantly under tension that I’m wasting my time(just like right now) rather than studying. Thus I’m not able to set my mind to ease. It’s always conflicting and diverting and I’m not able to enjoy the stuff that I do. And all of this is just because of the freaking RACE. Because if I don’t have a good rank, I won’t be able to score a better chance to improve my life. Isn’t the education supposed to make things easier, life better. I mean I was told the goal of education is to make you wise, smart, do your thing in good way. I was never told that it has to be done in a way better than the other person is doing it. No one said that educate yourself to win a race.

I may take some time to win your races. I may start at one and finish up when the next race finishes. But eventually I will get through it. Don’t expect me to go your way. I have my own thing. I will do what I do best. So don’t judge me like you judge your other “robots”, because I am a man of different approach. And I cherish the life in my style.